| What makes a Lucas?
1. Wesley P. Whirl: aka Nutter... one part puny man, one part Backstreet Boy, one part Zao disciple. Dream Job: Madonna's hairdresser or Zao frontman. Likes: whipped creme, hardcore, Brittany Spears, Aeropostle, Ray Bans, Zao, his mother. Dislikes: toejam, clam dip, Frank's B.O., Super Mario Bros 2. Favorite Quote: "My wife is HOT!" Plays: nothin', he just sings and moans and strikes a pose.
2. Chris Topher: aka C Minor, C Diddy... one part hippie, one part therapist, one part rump shaker. Dream Job: hippie or race car driver. Or both. Likes: racing, rubbing, dry humping, whupped Kreme, Phish, ZZ Top, old cars. Dislikes: toejam, Pearl Jam, grape jam, weiner dances, Frank's B.O. Favorite Quote: "Did you like what I was playing on that part?" Plays: ace of bass.
3. Superbroskiski: aka Cory Lnibberahw... one part punk, one part Kevin Smith knowledge archiver, one part loveseat, one part "Cor-potle." Dream Job: Mary Kay saleswoman or Spicy McHaggis, bagpiper for Dropkick Murphys. Likes: ska, sweaters, pins, solid state amplifiers, his girlfriend, his brother, Rob Chamness. Dislikes: Rob Chamness, Frank's B.O., the Beatles, long walks on the beach. Favorite Quote: "What f-ing chord is that?!?!?" Plays: ree them gee tar
4. Frankie V: aka The Rev, Francisco... one part rock, one part hippie, one part Chicago, one part "Penismobile," one part B.O. Dream Job: underwear model or Indiana Jones. Likes: loud noises, drumming loudly, Frank's B.O., art, pesto. Dislikes: drumming softly, acoustic guitars, slow songs, Frank's B.O., apple jam. Favorite Quote: "I should play my digeridoo on this one." Plays: loudly.
5. Dizzle McShizzle: aka the oppressive asshole that makes us behave... one part Angus Young, one part business class, one part sweat, one part building foundation. Dream Job: world leader pretend or Mark Twain. Likes: random solos, Pearl Jam, Cory, tube amplifiers, whipped cream bikinis. Dislikes: Chris, loud drumming, Frank's B.O., short stature, Ninja Gaiden. Favorite Quote: "No, I didn't hear what you were playing during that part, I wasn't paying attention." Plays: lead meedlee-mees, oppressive dictator. |